Trini Sweet Talk

Listen to de sweet talk of ah true Trini
 
HomeFAQRegisterLog in
Advertisement
bet365
Similar topics
Search
 
 

Display results as :
 
Rechercher Advanced Search
Latest topics
» From The Empty Treasury
Mon Oct 09, 2017 7:46 am by Honeylu

» MPS NOT MINISTERS
Sun Oct 08, 2017 11:24 am by Honeylu

» The PNM Shit List
Mon Sep 11, 2017 10:07 pm by Honeylu

» PNM Racist Acts!
Sun Jul 17, 2016 11:15 pm by Honeylu

» PNM RESIGNATIONS AND FIRING
Thu Jun 30, 2016 9:59 am by Honeylu

» EDITORIAL / NEWS AGAINST ROWLEY
Wed Jun 22, 2016 4:34 pm by Honeylu

» THE LANDATE PROJECT!
Mon May 30, 2016 8:50 pm by Honeylu

» LIST OF PNM MINISTERS BEFORE THE INTEGRITY COMMISSION
Sat Mar 19, 2016 3:17 pm by Honeylu

» The effects of VAT and the depreciation of the TT Dollar
Sun Mar 13, 2016 5:48 pm by Honeylu

Navigation
 Portal
 Index
 Memberlist
 Profile
 FAQ
 Search
Advertisement
bet365

Share | 
 

 Oil Change instructions for Women:

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Honeylu
Moderator
Moderator
avatar

Posts : 518
Join date : 2011-01-27

PostSubject: Oil Change instructions for Women:   Thu Feb 17, 2011 1:45 pm

Oil Change instructions for Women:



1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 5000 kilometres since the last oil change.

2. Drink a cup of coffee.

3. 15 minutes later, write a cheque and leave, driving a properly-maintained vehicle.

Money spent:
Oil Change:
$30.00
Coffee: $1.00
TOTAL: $31.00

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Oil Change instructions for Men:



1. Wait until Saturday, drive to auto parts store and buy a case of oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree,and use your debit card for $50.00.

2. Stop by Beer Store and buy a case of beer, (debit $24), drive home.

3. Open a beer and drink it.

4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.

6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

7. Place drain pan under engine.

8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

9. Give up and use crescent wrench.

10. Unscrew drain plug.

11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil: splash hot oil on you in process. Cuss.

12. Crawl out from under car to wipe hot oil off of face and arms. Throw kitty litter on spilled oil.

13. Have another beer while watching oil drain.

14. Spend 30 minutes looking for oil filter wrench.

15. Give up; crawl under car and hammer a screwdriver through oil filter and twist off.

16. Crawl out from under car with dripping oil filter splashing oil everywhere from holes. Cleverly hide old oil filter among trash in trash can to avoid environmental penalties. Drink a beer.

17. Install new oil filter making sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface.

18. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

19. Remember drain plug from step 11.

20. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

21. Drink beer.

22. Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor. Throw kitty litter on oil spill.

23. Get drain plug back in with only a minor spill. Drink beer.

24. Crawl under car getting kitty litter into eyes. Wipe eyes with oily rag used to clean drain plug. Slip with stupid crescent wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame removing any excess skin between knuckles and frame.

25. Begin cussing fit.

26. Throw stupid crescent wrench.

27. Cuss for additional 5 minutes because wrench hit bowling trophy.

28. Beer.

29. Clean up hands and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

30. Beer.

31. Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

32. Beer.

33. Lower car from jack stands.

34. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during any missed steps.

35. Beer.

36. Test drive car.

37. Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

38. Car gets impounded.

39. Call loving wife, make bail.

40. 12 hours later, get car from impound yard.

Money spent:
Parts: $50.00
DUI: $2500.00
Impound fee: $75.00
Bail: $1500.00
Beer: $20.00
TOTAL: $4,145.00

But you know the job was done right!

Back to top Go down
 
Oil Change instructions for Women:
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» faction change MAY start next week
» BF3 screen name change
» New Admin and Change of Forum Address
» How to change your Big End Bearings...
» Madden 25 Position Change Petitions

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Trini Sweet Talk :: General Category :: Sweet Talk-
Jump to: